It has been awhile...and yeah, see how well I stick with things

So, one of the difficult things of being a mama is the whole pregnant thing comes weight gain. On top of that, the anxiety that comes along with being a mama. I had never lost my baby weight from AJ and went on anxiety medicine to help me with some issues I was having. In turn, I gained a whopping 20 pounds. So I went off the medicine. I think I am FINALLY to good place mentally and I am ready to lose this weight. I have set the goal at 40 pounds but I am going to work on small goals first. So 5 pounds by the end of May.

So today is day one of getting my life back! I have been doing okay with working out. I have been working out about 4 days a week minus the week I was sick, so I going to get it back together. I am committing to this and there is no turning back. A few weeks ago, I thought I was ready, but now I am realizing just how sad I am. I am always sad over my weight, and eating crappy isn't going to fix it. Every day I think about it, every day I battle the negative thoughts. I went to a birthday party yesterday with Emmy and all I could do was compare myself to the other moms. And listening to them talk "Oh pop is my weakness, chips are mine...oh man I could eat sweets all day". Yet, all of these women are in shape...obviously the difference between them and myself...They have self control and I have zero! So, it kind of comes to a point where I need to be an adult about these things. I cannot eat like this forever. So I am going to fix this. I have done it before.

I am going to do better things for myself, drinking more water, eating less, working out more. I am going to keep better control of my life. I am going to keep the house in check so I don't get behind and get frustrated with the mess. I am going to keep better track of the business side of things with the baking, I am going to just do awesome and today it starts!